


I hear your voice on the phone, now I'm no longer alone

by the_nobody



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Fear of the dark kind of, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Song fic, hand holding, late night walks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 08:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20060959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_nobody/pseuds/the_nobody
Summary: All the lights in Cody's apartment go out. Then, Noel receives a phone call. (Based on the song can I call you tonight -dayglow)





	I hear your voice on the phone, now I'm no longer alone

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to can I call you tonight by dayglow before or while reading 
> 
> Excuse any mess ups I just kinda threw this together

**Noel: "**hello?"

**Cody: "**you told me to call when it gets bad."

**Noel: "**are you good?"

**Cody: "**guess."

**Noel: "**are you at your apartment right now?"

**Cody: "**yeah."

**Noel: "**okay, hang in there, alright? I'm on my way. I'm not hanging up until I get there, okay?"

**Cody: "**mhm."

For a moment, nothing could be heard from his side.

**Noel: "**talk to me man. I need to know how you're doing over there. Give me updates."

**Cody: "**sorry, I cant breathe. It's so hot in here - powers out. My fan...it wont work. I cant bre...I cant"

**Noel: **your powers out, okay. Can you see anything? You need to try some grounding-"

**Cody: "**cant see...cant breathe...cant talk. Pl-ease j-just keep talking.."

**Noel: "**okay, okay. I'm not hanging up until I get there. You're gonna be fine, Cody. Sit down, take some breaths. I'll be there soon."

The only thing that brightens up the apartment is the light that shines in when Noel opens the door. He softly calls out for Cody, who doesn't respond, however the phonecall ended. Noel wasnt the one who hung up.

He shuts the door behind him and uses the flashlight on his phone to guide him through the darken rooms.

"Cody, it's me. If you cant talk, tap on something. I can't see shit."

He receives a series of taps coming from somewhere he wasn't. He assumes Cody trapped himself in his room.

He makes his way to the hallway where he soon reached a closed door.

"Cody?" He knocks with the back of his pointer finger. He thought using his knuckles would be too frightening.

"Its me. I'm coming in, okay?"

He opens the door slow, the light pouring in the abyss that was Cody's room.

He waves the flashlight around until its shining on a red faced man with shaky hands, one pressed on his chest, the other running through his hair. Noel saw that the breathes he was taking weren't violent and heavy. They were deep and slow. His lips were pursed together as if he were whistling.

He moved closer to him. His head was hanging low when he entered, but it found it's way up again as the man illuminating him inched closer. His eyes were closed, as if the darkness of his home was scarier than the dark he was met with when his eye lids shielded his sight.

He didn't know if he was allowed to touch him. He didn't want to make matters worth by causing him to jump.

"Are you okay?"

Idiotic question, he knows, but he needed something. A response. Not even a verbal answer. A head nod, a hum, even a tap.

Cody took in some air.

"Can you talk?" Noel asked.

He realesed a mile long breath.

Hes only ever had to deal with his own panic attacks, so he stood there lost for a moment. He finally decided to reach out for him, touch him to try and ground him to reality.

It was warm for Cody. He was an astronaut drifting through space and Noel was the tether that was pulling him back.

"You did good with handling yourself, y'know that?"

He rubbed his hand on his shoulder, then kept going until he reached the other one. Cody melted. Human contact was something he didnt know was good for him during times like this. Things started to feel real again, but he wasnt opening his eyes. Not until he knew everything was back to normal, and even if it was, it was still dark. Completely pitch black.

"Let's get out of here, alright? Get some fresh air." His hand made one smooth move from his left shoulder to his right, then his arm fell to his side.

Cody started drifting again.

He swallows and nods before taking a breath.

"Its dark." Is all he says.

Forming sentences was always difficult after experiencing one.

"I know, I'm gonna guide us through it, though." Noel shook his phone to show him despite Cody still not wanting to look.

Noel came to the conclusion that he wasnt going to budge. He placed his hand on his back again.

"I'm right here. You'll be fine." His voice low and gentle.

Cody nods and stands. If his eyes weren't shut he'd be looking at his shoes. A brief wave of panic washes over him when he doesnt feel Noels hand anymore, but the feeling diminished when he felt it grasp his wrist.

They made it out of Cody's room and into the hallway when Noel asks,

"You want your phone?"

Cody shakes his head when he feels heat on his face. He just wanted out. Noel takes the light off of him and diverts back to the hallway. He didn't mean to, but somewhere along the way toward the door, his hand slid down and his fingers intertwined with Cody's.

He closed the door behind them. Cody allowed his eyes to adjust to the brightness of the hall. His eyes fell on their clasped hands.

_Shit._

That must've been awkward for Noel. Having to hold his hand like he was a child.

He let go of him as soon as he saw it. An apology was almost let out, but the words never left him.

"Guess it was just your apartment that had an outage,"

_Of course it was._

"You want me to tell someone downstairs?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to deal with it right now. He wanted that fresh air Noel was talking about.

For Cody's sake, he walks right past the elevators and went for the stairs instead. It wasnt until they reached outside when Noel asked him genuinely,

"Do you feel better?"

Cody inhaled the warm air deeply. He didnt reply until he could feel it in his lungs.

"Yeah, thanks for coming." He says.

Noel raised his eyebrows happily.

"Hey, he talks!"

Cody grins and sways a little. He needed to get comfortable with his body again. He mustve been to caught up in trying to do so.

"What are you thinkin about?" Noel asks.

Cody shrugs.

"I'm actually trying not to think belive it or not."

Though the panic had, for the most part ran its course, he started to do some grounding.

Lamp post.

Parked car.

Noel's hands.

A Starbucks across the stree.

That lone curl that hung down unlike the rest of Noel's gelled hair.

Noel picked up on what he was doing,  
so he let him do his thing until he was finished.

"You good?" He says when he knows hes done.

Cody nods. "Yeah."

Did this mean he'd have to go back up to his apartment? He wasnt really feeling the whole _'Go back up there alone, __sit in__ the dark, and probably cry' _idea, if he was honest.

"You wanna walk around for a bit?" Noel offered.

_Thank God._

They passed the Starbucks after crossing the road. Thats when Noel spoke up again.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

Cody shrugged. He wasnt bothered by the question, but by the fact that it was being asked. He wish it didn't have to be asked. He wished he'd never started thinking. He wish the lights never went out.

"You dont have to-"

"I felt like I was dying." He started as he started at his shoes.

"I don't even remember what triggered it, but everything going dark made it worse. I think I could've controlled it if that wouldn't have happened, but y'know, it did. Whatever."

He took a deep breath and wished there was a hand on his shoulder.

"I got really paranoid. Like, I started hearing shit, or I thought I was. I dont even remember what i heard. It was more of a feeling, i guess. Like, everything around me suddenly wasn't the same. I dont know, but thats why I shut the door. You were the first person my brain went to when I got hold of my phone. You said something about calling if I need some help dealing with one. Sorry for bothering you, by the way."

"You didn't bother me at all." Noel said.

"I mean, you should be asleep. I dunno what time it is, but it feels late."

"Fuck sleeping, you're more important." He affirmed, recognizing the boldness that statement carried.

He said it like he meant it.

Cody laughed.

"Damn, dude. Thanks, I guess."

Noel laughed, too.

"Was that too aggressive?"

"Nah, it was actually pretty...fuckin gay, to be honest."

"Yeah, okay. Fuck off."

They laughed more before Cody went back to talking.

"Yeah, but I dunno. Even though it was dark, it felt better when my eyes were closed. I was trying to separate myself from what was happening. Weird coping mechanism, but it kind of helped. Then, you knocked. You had kinda missed the show, but I'm still glad you came. I dont think I would've opened my eyes, or even moved if you didnt pull me out of there."

Noel looked at him sadly.

"Sorry for arriving so late. I tried getting there faster, but..."

"Its okay. In a way you were kind of there. I was really relying on your voice to get me through it. I've never, uh, never really had someone there with me during one of those. I still felt like I was dying, but I felt less alone. I think I need that more." Cody admitted.

"Just hit me up. I'll talk you down no matter the circumstances, man."

"The part where you touched my shoulder and held my hand was really comforting, too. No homo, but I wish you could be there through all of my panic attacks. I felt like, this sounds ridiculous, but I felt myself slipping from reality. Then, you came and I felt real again. I dont know. Its dumb, sorry." He was still keep direct ete contact on the pavement he walked on.

"Stop apologizing. You haven't done anything." Noel had that gentle voice again. It made Cody perk up and look at him.

"I know, I'm just-" He bit down on his lip.

God, did he want him. Not in _that _way. He just wanted to...

Noel quickly took his hand. They intertwined so fast, Cody didn't process it at first.

"Just say the word. I got you. If you need me to be there for all of your panic attacks, than I will be. I promise."

It was as if Cody forgot what being alone was. As if what happened in his apparent was years ago. Being this close to Noel felt heavenly. Whatever being alone was, he didn't want to feel it again.

"Dont go and leave me yet. I'm not tryna be alone again." He pleaded.

"I'm not leavin you. You can stay at mine, and we'll spend the night just like this, if that's what you need."

Cody was glad he made that call.

**Author's Note:**

> this was dry


End file.
